


Jello, Staplers, and Nickels

by lily_ddark



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Deal With It, Inspired by The Office, M/M, Prank War, SnowBaz, and like pranks too, anyways it’s gay pining, but gay pining, idk - Freeform, ig, simon snow is a himbo, thats it, yes i used a cold open from the office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_ddark/pseuds/lily_ddark
Summary: The whole gang works at Watford paper company, and on the day that their boss Nicodemus goes away for a whole day for, Simon and Baz decide to have a prank war.This is...just...let’s pretend this is good. Give me break.
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Ginger/Agatha Wellbelove, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Jello, Staplers, and Nickels

**Author's Note:**

> instagram: @ mammillariainflames

“Yeah no that’s fine, you can call back-“ “Hey Simon.” I look up from my desk and raise my finger up to my lips, “I’m on the phone Shepard.” “It’ll only take a second.”

“No, hold on- Sorry ma’am, yes just call back to 570-“ “Knock knock.” “Shep stop- yes sorry at 570-356-5555.“ I hang up the phone and frown at him, “Shep-“

“Alright here we go, knock knock.” I sigh, “Who’s there.” “Buddha.” I raise my eyebrows at him, “Buddha who?”

Shepard giggles and then drops a piece of bread and butter on my desk, “Why don’t you buddha this bread for me?” I burst out into laughter with him and Baz rolls his eyes, “Wow that was great.”

“Wasn’t it,” he laughs turning towards him. Dev, who’s sitting next to Baz waves Shepard over, “Shep, I got a knock knock joke.”

“Okay,” Shepard says, walking towards him. Dev stands up and holds his shoulders before clearing his throat, “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?”

Dev smiles a bit, “KGB.” “KGB wh-“ Dev slaps him across the face and yells in a russian accent, “We will ask the questions!”

“What the hell was that?!,” Penny shouts from her desk. Dev and Shepard are holding eachother as they laugh loudly. Penny rolls her eyes, “No more knock knock jokes.”

“Ding dong.” Shepard and Dev go silent and stare at Baz. “Who’s there?,” Shepard asks. “KGB,” Baz smirks.

“Dev get the door.” “I’m not answering the door.” “Answer the door.” “Ding dong.” “No way that’s KGB.” “Ding dong.” “I’m not answering that.” “Yes. You’re going to.” “You answer it.” “I’m not gonna answer it.” “I’m not gonna answer. It’s the KGB!”

“The KGB waits for no one!,” Baz yells in a russian accent, as he slaps Dev in the face. Shepard loses it and starts laughing as Dev solemnly nods, “It’s true.”

_________________

Baz is rummaging through his desk cabinets, and his hair is falling around his face as he does. “Where the fuck did I put it,” he hisses.

I peer over my desk and look at him with raised eyebrows, “Have you checked your lower cabinet?” He looks up at me with narrowed eyes before slowly opening it.

He sighs and then pulls out the stapler that I’ve placed in jello. I start to giggle and Dev joins in with the laughter. Baz rolls his eyes, “This is ridiculous.”

“You’re just mad that you couldn’t pull anything that good off.” Baz raises an eyebrow, “Is that a challenge?”

_________________

I walk into the breakroom and see Agatha and Ginger giggling while sharing a plate of spaghetti. “Hey guys,” I say, waving. Ginger smiles at me and waves, “Hey Simon.”

I open the refrigerator and lean down to grab my food, “Have you guys seen Baz?” “You mean your boyfriend?” I turn to glare at Agatha, “No he’s not shut up.”

She snickers into Ginger’s shoulder. “I mean you stalk him right?,” Ginger laughs. I ignore her and grab my tupperware, “Have you guys seen him?”

“Nope,” Agatha says as I sit down at the table with them. “He went out for lunch,” Ginger adds. I nod and start to open the lid to my food, “Makes sense he’s such a prick.”

“What does that have to do with- HOLY SHIT.” “FUCK.” “OH MY GOD.” “SIMON WHAT THE FUCK.” “THIS ISN’T MY FAULT ITS BAZ’S FAULT.”

All of us are screaming and staring at the pile of worms crawling around the table that came from my tupperware.

Agatha is clenching my shoulder and Ginger is hiding behind her. “Simon.” “Yes?” “...Do you eat worms for lunch...?” “NO!” “OKAY I WAS JUST ASKING BECAUSE WORMS CAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING LUNCH.” “AND WHAT IF I DID AGATHA? WOULD YOU JUDGE ME?”

_________________

Baz walks into the office and I smile at him, “Hi.” I raises an eyebrow, “Hello.” He walks up to my desk and drops a box down, “Here.”

I feel my cheeks heat up, “You bought me food?” “Yes, felt bad,” he turns to walk to his desk, and then stops.

“Snow?” “Yeah?” “Where the fuck is my desk?” I stuff a couple of french fries into my mouth and shurg, “Dunno.”

“Bathroom,” Shepard coughs. I glare at him, “Shut up.” Baz stares at us for a couple seconds before bolting out the door, closely followed by me.

When we get to the bathroom Baz swings the door open and his desk is right in the middle of the bathroom floor. Baz walks over to it and grabs the roll of toliet paper that was sitting in the middle of it, “Really, Snow?”

I lean towards him, “Isn’t it funny?” He moves his face down and he’s looking straight down at my lips (it makes my heart flutter), “It-“ one of the stall doors swings open and Gareth is staring at us with a confused face, “Hey.”

“Heyyyy,” I say leaning back away from Baz. Gareth opens his mouth but Baz cuts him off, “Alright well.” He moves around me while pushing the roll into my hands, and opens the door, “I’m going to steal Dev’s desk bye.”

“Bye,” I say quietly while looking at the paper. The door closes and Gareth clears his throat. “What?,” I ask looking up. He raises a fist and points to my hand, “Can I have that?” “Ew,” I groan, throwing the roll at him.

_________________

The phone starts ringing and I answer it, “Hello?” “Hello I called you early this morning I would just like to discuss my appointment.” “Oh right.”

“Okay well,” she says, “I need you to write down a quick note for your boss, I just need him to clarify a couple of things.” “Sure sure.”

“Alright, do you have a pen and paper?” I open my desk draw and instead of pens and paper, there’s crayons and a coloring book, “Um.”

“Do you have it?” I bite my lip and grab them, “Yeah- Yes ma’am.” “Okay so...” As she tells me what to write I glare at Baz who’s (cutely) laughing at me.

_________________

“Hey,” I say to Penny, who’s at her desk (and actually doing her work). “What?” “Do you know when Nicodemus is coming back?”

“Uhm,” she crosses her arm and burrows her eyebrows, “No I don’t know...maybe 4? That’s when his meetings usually end.”

I check my watch and sigh, “Shit it’s 3:32.” “Why does it matter?” “Well-“ The door opens and three delivery men come in holding 20 pizza boxes.

“Uh, delivery of twenty vegan pies for Basilton?” Baz looks at the guy and shakes his head, “I didn’t order any pizzas.” The guys sighs, “Well it says here you did and someone needs to pay.”

Baz’s brows bunch together as he fishes cash from his wallet and pays him. They drop the boxes on his desk and from behind the boxes, he flips me off.

_________________

“Baz,” I hiss from my desk. He turns to look at me, “What do you want, Snow.” I point to Nico’s office, “He looked pissed.”

“I know,” he whispers as he gets up to stand infront of my desk, “Do you think the meeting went bad?” I nod, “I’m guessing it did...he did meet with Davy.”

He clicks his tongue, “Davy’s a dick.” “Mhh,” I look into the window of Nicodemus’s office. He has his head on his desk and it looks like there’s a bottle in a paper bag next to him. “Hey,” I look at Baz, “I have an idea.”

_________________

The second Nicodemus steps back into the office from his short bathroom break, Baz is there to greet him.

“What the fuck do you want Basil,” he grumbles. Baz hands him a bag of quarters, “You’re going to need these.”

Nico stares at the bag, and then grumbles as he walks to his door. Baz and I watch him as he opens it.

“What the hell?!” He walks out of his office and plants his hands on his hips, “Okay, where is all of my stuff?”

I place my hand on my mouth to hold on my laugh. Nico sharply turns his head to Baz and raises the bag of nickels as he points at him, “You.”

Baz smirks as Nico runs to the break room. We follow him as everyone watches and once he enters, he stands infront of the vending machines.

Nico starts bursting into laughter as he leans aganist the vending machine holding all of his possessions, “You dicks!”

Baz laughs and his cheeks are tinted by it. I turn to him and he does the same. I smile at him, and he smiles back. It makes my heart flutter.

“Okay but seriously, what the fuck guys how long is this going to take me?”


End file.
